Shall I compare thee to a Shakespeare play?
Thou art less clever and less literate,
But how else should poor poets have their say?
Alas, our leader lacks a donkey’s wit!
Sometime too fierce the fire of ego burns,
And when a man is made to look a fool,
He rages ’gainst the mockery he earns,
As little boys will cry when teas’d at school.
But thy eternal tantrums shall not wane,
Nor shalt thou e’er unclench thy tiny fists,
Nor listen when the people dare to say,
“’Tis you, dear sir, who made a scene of this.”
So long as men can breathe and speech is free,
The Bard shall speak and show thy shame to thee.
(4 July 2017, in honor and defense of freedom of artistic expression)
Day: July 4, 2017
Some of the Amazons, like Kroes, auditioned, while the filmmakers
plucked others from the athletic world — Brooke Ence, an American
Crossfit champion, and Madeleine Vall Beijner, a Swedish professional
fighter, among them. “I got an e-mail asking if I could do fighting on
film,” Beijner recalls. “I said, ‘Well, yes, I can fight, and I think I
can fight in a movie. So yes, I’ll do it!’ ”
Months before the cameras started rolling, the women gathered in London
for weeks of training. Not only did they go through basic strength
training to look properly Amazonian, but they also spent hours each day
practicing swordplay, horseback riding and stunt choreography. “The
trainers said they wanted us to look like the female version of 300,”
Beijner says. For several of the athletes, many of whom compete in
individual sports, it was a refreshing change of pace to feel like part
of an all-female team. “It really is cool to see this whole training
area, and there’s not one male figure in sight,” Ence adds. “It’s just
women wrestling other women, kickboxing, doing pull-ups and practicing
with spears — just a lot of stuff that in the real world is very
Once they all donned their Amazon armor and took to the beach for the
big Themysciran battle scenes, Ence says she was surprised by how easy
it was to tap into her inner warrior, especially when surrounded by a
whole horde of fellow soldiers. “The first day we were on-set with all
of our swords and shields, it felt like a different type of power,” she
says. “And we looked awesome.” She wasn’t the only one who got swept up
by all the swords and stunts: Kroes recalls a day when her young son
visited her, and she greeted him in full battle regalia. “If I could
just have that face framed as a picture on my wall,” she says. “I think I
melted because he has never looked at me like that ever. He was just in
full admiration of his mommy as a warrior.”
When you realize that your previous knee-jerk dismissal of romance novels were ignorant at best and misogynist at worst
You know how people dismiss “female culture” all the time? Romcoms, chicklit, romance novels – without having read or seen much of it, because you know – if it’s for women, it must be bad? (Patriarchy you sneaky devil) And that assumption is misogynist. No way around it.
I was one of those girls. I had barely read a romance novel and thought I was too good for them. Internalized misogyny is a bitch. Basically.
Thankfully, if you work on it – you get better. And get to enjoy a lot more awesome culture in the process.
It’s so ingrained in people to dismiss romance novels that they can’t even connect dots on why it’s misogynistic.
I never hated “female culture” because I hated women. I hated it because it was ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS about men and heterosexuality. I’ve been bored at best and pissed off at worst by how much entertainment aimed at women is just heteronormative bullshit. It romanticizes femininity, passiveness, submissiveness, allowing abuse.
Exactly, I hate this “if you don’t enjoy media that condescends to you, and is designed to encourage you to embrace toxic societal norms, you have internalized misogyny” bullshit.
I’m too good for romance novels not because I’m better than other woman but because I’m deserving of media that doesn’t brainwash me into accepting abusive and manipulative behavior from men and that doesn’t fetishize unhealthy relationships. I’m not stupid enough to enjoy that trash, sorry.
Everyone on here defending the kind of trash that is deliberately marketed towards women to condition us into putting up with more bullshit should be ashamed to call themselves a feminist. And if you’re a woman who enjoys reading like, dumbass romance novels peppered with quasi-rape fantasies and racist undertones (which is shockingly common), then I don’t have respect for you or your opinions on media and culture.
Also you dumbasses realize that all these crap industries are controlled by male executives, right? The creepy “haha stalking is romantic” rom com that you’re defending was paid for and probably produced and directed by men, yeah?
Y’all are dumb as hell but okay continue to read trash because it has a woman on the cover. I’ll be over here consuming things that aren’t absurdly sexist and supporting female creators who produce actual high quality work. Maybe people disrespect this stuff because it’s trash. The real misogyny is that this crap is what our society offers to women
The post above sort of illustrates the point I was trying to make. I didn’t say “If you don’t like it – you’re being misogynist”. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it and that’s fine. At least not liking it tells me you’ve actually given it a shot.
I said DISMISSING it right off the bat is. Which you’re doing in your post. And that’s a big shame because I don’t know many fandoms that are as aware of its faults and history as the romance community. Romance readers are HIGHLY critical of the thing they love and it has pushed romance novels into something frankly amazing.
The romance community (readers and writers alike) are still having to deal with the fucked up things the genre contained in the 80′s. Still fighting those old stereotypes and misconceptions. And as above tells us, they are still very much alive. And you know what? Romance novels have gotten better and deserve way more credit. It’s a HUGE industry, and yes, as with any other mediums – it’s going to have better and worse representatives. Yes, the alpha men are still very much there – but they have evolved. Consent is a HUGE thing in today’s romance novels (even when they’re set 200 years ago) and there’s something in them for everyone. Because the genre is HUGE. It ranges from paranormal to historical to contemporary and it contains WORLDS.
So dismissing it, and the people who create and enjoy them as dumb, sexist and trash is doing exactly what I said in my original post. It’s ignorant. And misogynist. And you’re missing out. Because dismissing romance authors and romance readers like you just did, while praising “actual high quality work”, seemingly without having actually read any of the things you’re criticizing isn’t doing any of us any favors.
You are missing out when you dismiss it as “trash”. And that was my point to begin with.
Thank you @romancepodden I could not have said it better
And all I will add is that this type of uninformed ignorance, in which a woman would rather call other women “dumbasses” than support them, tells me plainly that you are either too young, or not yet well informed enough to know what it really means to be a woman in a community of women, like the one we have here.
On that day, we will welcome you back should you choose to return and offer a apology. Until then, do not assume that your rancor is going to “save” or “inform” anyone in this community. Or that we need your validation.
The original post was not an attack on your frankly skewed and unresearched opinion of our genre (though THAT was, in case you were wondering) – the post was a shared moment between people who have heard EVERYTHING you have to say, 100 times before.
You could at least try to be original.
Discovering romance novels has been so empowering to me.
A big part of it is the wonderful, welcoming community of women who took me into their circle and continue to encourage and inspire me.
Another part is to do with my asexuality.
Yes, you read that right.
Sure, romance still has a lot of sex in it. Sure, most of it is heterosexual. It’s depicted as a central aspect of relationships, as I have no doubt is true for many people. Sometimes, explicit sex scenes in romance novels make me uncomfortable. All of this should be putting me off.
But then there’s everything AROUND the sex scenes. The bits where the Alpha Heroes so happily dismissed as misogynistic fantasies assure the heroine that they won’t do anything she doesn’t want, where they go to any length to ensure she is comfortable and derives just as much, if not more, pleasure from their encounter as he does, the bits where ladies acknowledge and act upon their desires.
When the hero looks at the heroine and wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with her, in comfortable companionship, bringing joy and friendship to each other and helping each other be more than they were.
One of my favourite romances, and probably favourite books of all time, is Courtney Milan’s The Countess Conspiracy. It has been so transformative to me. Sebastian recounts how one time, he took a young woman up to his room and played cards with her all night because she changed her mind. He tells Violet that he doesn’t care if she will never have sex with him, never kiss him, never even touch him, because that is her choice. He loves her anyway. He would gladly give up on sex for the rest of his life if it meant being able to spend every day with her, knowing she loves him.
Can you imagine the impact that had on me? For years, I have been telling myself that any potential partner would have needs of their own that deserved to be met. I have been questioning myself how far I would be able to go with someone I loved, how much I could stand, telling myself that I would have to make compromises despite the terror in the back of my mind. This is what women, not just asexual women like me, are told day after day: he has needs. You have to satisfy them if you want him to stay. Men can’t live without sex. It’s terrifying, and horrible, and it made me feel like I was doomed to spend my life alone.
But there’s Sebastian, promising to love her. There’s all those others, vowing to respect her boundaries, to stop at a moment’s notice, asking her permission, asking if she’s comfortable.
And here I am, thinking: it’s not unreasonable to want your needs respected. It’s not unreasonable to demand consideration. I am still learning that not wanting sex does not make me unlovable, but every time I question myself, I can open almost any of the dozens of romance novels on my shelf and find a heroine being treated with respect, and love, and care.
Romance novels are teaching me, and millions of other women, that our wishes are not unreasonable. We’re learning to want more, to want better, to demand better, than we are presented with in mainstream media. I have read more positive, feminist romance novels in the past year than I have encountered so-called ‘intellectual’ literature that did not leave a bitter taste in my mouth in my life.
Because you know what happens when millions of women come together to create something for their own enjoyment? We celebrate ourselves and each other. I thought that was what feminism was all about.
Reblogging for new commentary.
Also, @theduchessapproach, have I told you lately that I love you?
I love you, I love all our other romance friends, and I love this community which valiantly and intelligently rises up to defend what it loves.
Oh shit. I never realized this.
This is a depressing reality every 4th of July.
So they go around the world bombing and killing people and then expect us to feel sorry for them?? Nah son, you deserve it.
me if i ever find out any of my neighbors are veterans
Hmmm. I mean, just because the army as an institution is flawed and damaging doesn’t mean everyone in it is a terrible person. To paint every single veteran with the same brush is reductive and to make light of the debilitating mental disorders many have just seems wrong. Like yes, fuck the military as an institution completely 100%, but blaming disabled ex-front-line infantry maybe isn’t the best direction for our anger, perhaps.
A lot of veterans are poor people who were intentionally targeted by scouting programs coming to their schools starting at age 13, and most of them are worse off coming back than they were to start with… let’s be courteous to folks with PTSD
Don’t be an ableist fuckface. Intentionally triggering someone is disgusting.
I thought people on this godforsaken website at least understood this one basic principal, but apparently not, so let me make it crystal clear:
IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO BE SELECTIVELY PROGRESSIVE
You can hate Ann Coulter. But if you suggest that she deserves to be raped, you are a misogynist.
You can hate Woody Allen. But if you say he’s part of a Jewish conspiracy or joke about putting him in an oven, you are an antisemite.
You can hate Michael Vick. But you call for him to be lynched or call him the N-word, you are an anti-black racist.
You can hate Caitlyn Jenner. But if you misgender her, or make comments about her genitalia, you are a transphobe.
And you can hate the military. But if you deliberately try to trigger veterans with PTSD, you are an ableist piece of shit.
You do no get to pick and choose which people to treat fairly when it comes to acknowledging and combatting prejudice.
Not liking a person is not a free pass to disregard anti-prejudicial words and actions. Either you respect marginalized peoples as a whole (even if you don’t like an individual), or you don’t respect them at all. There is no middle ground.
If anyone really like, agrees with harassing veterans with PTSD or anything similar, unfollow me right the fuck now. I don’t want you following me.
You don’t have to like the military, it’s massively fucked up but y’all needs understand that most people in the military are victims of propaganda and are usually poor or part of a minority who are taken advantage of in order to join.
^^^ All of these comments tbh
Hi! I just saw that you already did an ask the writer and I was wondering if u could lead me to it? Love ur blog <3
Yep, it’s right here! This focuses more on fanfiction and SJM stuff in particular and it’s from about 10 months ago (last August).
Guys, I already have so many exciting questions for “Ask the Fic Writer!” Keep ‘em coming, and I can’t wait until August so I can sit down and answer them all! You guys are the best. ❤
I’m too lazy to wait for AFW!😂 I’m curious: in your opinion, is it harder to write a hero or a villain? why?
Hi! This is such an interesting question! It’s kind of funny for me, because a number of the villains in my series are people that started out as heroes in my head, and as I wrote them they turned around, stared me in the eye, and said:
So … those have been some of my favorite moments in writing this series because I love when my characters surprise me. Like, this is what I posted the first time this happened over a year ago (tumblr has to be lying because it had to be more than that).
As far as which is harder to write, it honestly depends on the character for me, because it’s all about knowing what makes that character tick. Some characters are so good at being bad, and others don’t even know why they’re doing the shit they’re doing, and that makes it harder on me to justify their actions (it’s difficult to write a character who’s a weak person without making them a weak character, if that makes any sense). But sometimes this is true even for good characters, because sometimes good characters are driven by more abstract ideas about what’s right without themselves knowing why they believe those things. Good Characters™ can sometimes be boring characters, if the writer doesn’t spend enough time learning why they’re good and give them something more concrete to motivate them. Getting these motivations down is a challenge whether the character is good, evil, or somewhere in between.
My personal favorite characters to write are those who don’t exactly fall into either category but are protagonists and antagonists anyway. For example, my Snow White character, Nevea, is the protagonist and one of the heroes of the story, but she is 100% Slytherin and she schemes and manipulates and wriggles her way out of tough situations Like a Boss. But not all of her choices are Good™ and they make some of the other hero characters uncomfortable. Another character, Cris, helps the protagonists but is very much on the morally grey spectrum. They sure know what the hell they want and they’ll do whatever they have to in order to get it. And they totally defy categorization in a number of ways. And, of course, the characters that surprise you along the way.
Thanks for the question! This was fun!
I recently found out that a friend of mine has been complaining of my anxiety behind my back, and gets irritated whenever I have panic attacks. Now I have no idea how to act around her, since I can’t avoid seeing her once school starts. She’s diagnosed with bipolar disorder but refuses to get any help. I try my best to be considerate, knowing her condition, but she’s become starting to become a trigger for me and I don’t know what to do. Just thinking about seeing her freaks me out. Any advice?
Hi honey! I’m so sorry to hear this. It always sucks to find out someone is talking about you like that. It’s not fair to you, and it’s immature. And honestly, your friend’s bipolar disorder isn’t an excuse for her treating you badly, especially about your own problems with anxiety. Panic attacks are bad enough without someone making you feel bad for having them. My recommendation would be to try and separate yourself from her socially as much as you can. Let the “friendship” fade over the summer and find new and better people to associate with. You might not be able to avoid seeing her, but you don’t have to go out of your way to interact with her or try to be your friend. This isn’t someone you need in your life. This doesn’t mean that you’re distancing yourself from her because of her bipolar disorder–you’re doing it because she’s treating you badly and negatively affecting your own mental health. You don’t need to be mean or aggressive in separating yourself from her necessarily, but don’t try and resume the friendship as normal when you get back to school. If you can involve another friend to be on your side and help, that will make things easier. Someone’s own mental health problems doesn’t give them license to be dismissive of yours, and it’s perfectly okay to be selective about who you allow in your circle of friends. The earlier you learn that lesson, the better! Good luck, and I hope this helps!
Happy Independence Day! #sparkler #fourthofjuly #independenceday