Day: July 18, 2017

a word on chained libraries and game of thrones

my-name-is-fireheart:

Alright so Dany’s far-too-perfect hair aside, I have a few things to say about Sunday’s GoT episode

AND MOST OF THEM HAVE TO DO WITH THE RIDICULOUS MONTAGE OF SAMWELL TARLY RE-SHELVING BOOKS

It’s fine that we get Sam shelving books. Thats like, whatever. It’s also fine that there is a chained lib. In fact, it’s a nice historically accurate touch. But do you want to know what the point of a chained library was???

THE POINT WAS THAT THE BOOKS WERE CHAINED SO THAT NO ONE COULD TAKE SAID BOOKS OUT OF THE LIBRARY. OR EVEN AWAY FROM THE SHELVES. You didn’t just unchain the books and read them, you had to actually sit in little desks next to the bookshelves. THERE IS NO WAY TO RE-SHELVE A BOOK IN A CHAINED LIBRARY BECAUSE THE BOOKS NEVER LEAVE THE SHELVES.

THAT’S THE LITERAL POINT OF THEM. Sam shelving books makes 0 sense in a chained library. Like literally none. And the fact that the GoT producers make us watch him do this mundane action 15 fucking times kills me. 

Moving on. 

One of the reasons chained libs were a thing, was so that…..wait for it…THE BOOKS WOULDN’T BE STOLEN OR EVEN REMOVED FROM THE LIBRARY. So then,,,,,,the fact that sam…..removes a books from the restricted section is like??? THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE??? if the chains aren’t there to keep the priceless MANUSCRIPTS WRITTEN ON DEAD COWS FROM BEING TAKEN, then what usage do they even have??? 

FIRST OF ALL YOU DON’T NEED AN OFF LIMITS SECTION IN A PROPER CHAINED LIBRARY. ALL THE BOOKS STAY ON THEIR SHELVES AND NO ONE STEALS THEM. Second of all, the IDEA THAT IF THERE WAS A RESTRICTED AREA, THAT THOSE BOOKS WOULDN’T BE CHAINED AS WELL, IS LUDICROUS. why wouldnt you want double security?

honestly, this entire scene is so fucking stupid. you dont have to be a medievalist to be like, well what are the chains for if not for chaining the books and protecting them? It’s such a basic ass concept and there is a literal chained library in hereford wales that one can visit. and it’s so clear to me that that’s where the show runners copied the chains from because IT LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME. BUT SOMEHOW THEY MANAGED TO LEAVE OUT THE CRUCIAL DETAIL THAT BOOKS IN A CHAINED LIBRARY ARE CHAINED.

Books in chained libraries are chained because chained libraries are for chaining books. 

this show has a 10 million dollar budget per episode. christ. 

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From what she has JUST replied to an anon who said her BPD doesn’t excuse her behavior, she refused to actually acknowledge that and said the anon was a hypocrite for being mean on anon knowing there would be no consequences to their actions. I agree with the intensity in which others are saying things. It just make me think when did she ever consider how others were feeling at that moment she bashed them? Doesn’t mean she deserves ANY extreme hate, but it’s food for though.

1) She has no obligation to be nice to people who criticize her on anon when she’s been dealing with hate all day. And again, that sort of criticism belongs in DMs, not on anon. Further, no one has any business commenting on someone else’s mental health when they don’t know that individual personally. It might be a false equivalence, but it reminds me of when I was fat and people I didn’t know well would give me unsolicited weight loss advice. Like, they didn’t know me? Why does it matter to you? This seems kind of the same. 

2) Mahnoor apologized for the tone in which she was discussing the other individual. But even then, the response of the anons to Mahnoor’s initial comments was drastically disproportionate. She had people telling her she deserved to die. Does that seem like a logical response? I don’t think so. 

3) Why are you bringing this into my inbox? I am her friend, yes, but she and I are not the same person. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather you let out your frustrations here than in her inbox, but I’m still not clear on why you’re so personally invested in this. Shake it off.

Why don’t you tell her to pull away from the internet before she treats others poorly?

Who’s to say I haven’t? She and I talk privately all the time, and you have no idea what I have and have not advised her. Though honestly, I’d advise anyone in a situation like this to step away from the internet for a bit. The last half of my second-to-last ask was intended generally because it’s relevant in a number of situations, not just this one. My asking for some positivity to go to a friend who is a bit overwhelmed by negativity right now does not mean I’m coming at the situation uncritically or that I haven’t spoken with her privately. 

But mental illness shouldn’t be an excuse for mean behaviour. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and l wouldn’t want people to take my shit if I was acting that way.

Of course that’s true, but she’s not using it as an excuse. There’s a difference between saying “I can’t be held accountable for my actions” and “Can we lighten up a little bit and talk about this civilly because I can’t deal with this intensity?” Also, if it’s not your drama, it’s not your place to call her out on it. That’s what private conversations are for, between the individuals involved. My point that anon hate does not solve anything still stands.

The anons in her inbox aren’t being racist at all, it’s not because she’s brown it’s because she’s an idiot who always, ALWAYS plays the victim

I’m assuming you’re one of them, then? Wish I could say it’s a pleasure, but it’s not. Racist or not, the anons are aggressive and have not laid off even when it’s clear that her mental health is really suffering right now. To continue to send aggressive asks is selfish, unhelpful, and dangerous. People make mistakes and drama happens, but sending anon hate solves nothing and it’s an extremely immature way to handle a disagreement. 

If you’re ever angry at someone online (in this situation or any other), the best solution is to step away for a few hours. Try to calm yourself down. Because otherwise you will say and do things that you regret. I have been the person to make that mistake. I’ve been mean to people because I didn’t give myself time to back away and think about whether the situation really dignified my response. Most of the time, in my experience, it usually doesn’t. Private discussions are the best way to clear things up because then angry anons don’t go off to either side and make everything worse. It’s a shame this particular situation couldn’t be handled that way. 

I just found out that my best friend has anorexia and I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t know I know. Do you have any advice?

Hey, there. I’m so sorry, this sounds like a really tough situation. The best thing that you can do for your friend right now is be there for her. Be her friend, be a positive force in her life. I’m not sure what your relationship is like. If you’re super close, then I’d look for an opportunity to broach the subject and tell her that you know what she’s doing and that you want to help her. Do not give her advice that she does not ask for–just let her know that you support her and want her to be healthy enough to live life with you. Offer her resources if you think she’d be interested in hearing about them. Don’t press too hard, because sometimes that can backfire. Don’t frame your support in negative terms (such as demanding why she hasn’t eaten or trying to force/guilt her into eating–anorexia doesn’t work that way). Also, if you know her parents or caretakers, you should privately talk about it with them so that you can all be a team in helping your friend face her eating disorder. In situations like these it’s always important to involve an adult or an authority figure, because there’s only so much that you as her friend are going to be able to do for her. Just focus on supporting her and being positive for right now, and keep your eyes open for opportunities to offer further help. I hope this is useful to you!

toraziyals:

my friends and i have this weird inside joke we do where if we go to an amusement park together and go on rollercoasters we have this game of “rollercoaster confessions” where you have to turn to the person next to you, right at the very top of the hill before the first big drop, and tell them a ~shocking confession~ e.g. “i am secretly an alien” “i killed mufasa” etc

this is best if you time it EXACTLY RIGHT so that you are turning to them and saying “i am the true author of my immortal” and then immediately before they have a chance to react the rollercoaster is falling and everyone is screaming as if in shocked response to your dramatic reveal

My question is as a person who is not sexually active… masturbating does nothing for me but really steamy fanfic does. Is that normal or am I asexual? I don’t know by this point and advice would be fantastic. I’m scared to discuss this with my family and friends… I’m super modest. Please enlighten me and thank you for the advice. Have a nice night 😊

faeriequeenofthewest:

Hi nonnie! So quick disclaimer, I know little to nothing about asexuality, how you know, etc. But I sent a quick message to my friend @sarahviehmann who is very knowledgeable about this, and she said you can talk with her if you would like! Or maybe she can respond to this post I dunno, but I already told her about your question. 🙂

I did want to address this a little bit, though? Because I think you’re a good example of a couple of things that are totally normal. First off, being turned on by one thing but not another. I’m kinda curious if the fanfic gets you turned on and then you try to masturbate? And it just doesn’t translate? Either way, reading fanfic or smut or erotica or watching those things totally works for me, but I’m sure everyone has their own preferences. Maybe you need more of a human connection in order for you to orgasm? Or an emotional one? Because taking those things separately (fanfic and masturbation) can isolate some necessary ingredients from one another. If that makes sense. Not sure if you’ve been able to achieve the… uh… orgasm… (I was trying to think of a metaphor and kept coming up with religious things and should probably avoid that) but if not then there might just be other things you need that you aren’t getting from whatever you are doing/using while masturbating. Like a caring partner.

Second off, modesty. I know a lot of my responses thus far have been along the lines of “YAS DO IT MASTURBATE NO SHAME” but I realize that that’s not how everyone operates, or even wants to operate. Being shy about this stuff is ok, it is super private. I just don’t want it to cross the line from private to shameful, because that’s where you might run into problems. But anyway, for some people sex/masturbation/etc. is a really personal thing that they don’t want to talk about with just anyone, because it’s really intimate! And some people feel better sharing it out in the open with friends and laughing about how… odd it can be. Either thing is fine, as long as you can attain a healthy relationship with your body and sexuality.

It can be such a sensitive topic that I’d hate for you to reach out to a family member or friend and their own hang-ups get in the way of having a productive conversation, but I’m here if you need anything else!

Also, quick note for everyone, I am basing all of this off of my own experience and an intense amount of reflection about my own sexuality throughout my life. So basically keep in mind that this is my perspective, and some people could be reading this saying “hell yeah she’s right!” and other people could be saying “wtf is this idiot talking about?” I’m not an expert, and so if you send me an ask I don’t feel comfortable answering, I’ll let you know and either try to point you in the right direction, or just say I don’t know.

Heya! I’ll tap in. Leslie covered most of the question, but I just thought I’d pop in and clarify that your behavior and your preferences about what you do with your without a partner don’t actually determine your sexual orientation. People of any orientation can feel the way you do, nonnie! The only thing that determines if you’re asexual is whether or not you feel sexual attraction toward other people. It’s not actually linked to what “does it” for you! Hope this helps clear that up!